Linking up with Jen today.
It’s been a rather quiet few weeks over here at SMB. So where have I been?
It’s a blessing to be in a warm locale, spending time meeting the students helped by our programs and dusting off my rusty Spanish. I’m grateful for it. It’s a major perk of my job, this travel to find inspiration for going out. For in going out to tell others and inspire generosity of heart, the fire must first be lit in me.
But after two weeks of being in Guatemala, where am I? Out of my norm. That’s where I am. Mentally anyways. So I’m a bit out of whack.
Moments of each day can be considered a win, but being at the mercy of another’s kitchen makes me yearn for control and for routine eating. Out of my routine it takes much more effort to decide when where and how to workout. What to eat and when to say no to the deliciousness offered me. And most days it’s a battle I can’t count as a win on the eating side. But I’m grateful that after a year, working out is as essential to a good mood as silent time in prayer.
In needing to have the fire lit in me in order to go out for my job, isn’t it true I must have the fire of health in my bones too? The fire is waning in me. I’m at a plateau, resting a foot injury, out of my routine and eating what is placed in front if me these weeks. It is an uphill battle I am losing. Carbs and sugar and more carbs.
So what’s a gringa to do? The final week ahead and I’ll keep chugging along, grasping for glimpses of my routine – making time for exercise, spending minutes of time in a chapel with our Lord if it means I can glimpse His friendly face in Adoration. Giving myself the grace to accept the food offered me when it’s given as a gift of self. Try to keep perspective that a few weeks out of my normal routine doesn’t have to mean a complete backslide. My health is worth working for – worth finding that fire within again.
Last week, I had feet firmly planted in one country but mind grasping for another. So where will I be this week? My final week in Guatemala lies ahead and the time will pass quick. So I will plant my head and my heart in the moment I’m living, in order to be loving. I’m no good to anyone when I’m distracted and that is what I am if I’m not present to the moment.
I’m here, Guatemala. Another week of sun and Spanish and the joy of children learning. Will I be too distracted to see the respite you offer me because I’m grasping for the norm I so badly wanted a break from before I left? Will other parts of my life be caught by the fire reignited too?